again, thinking about the height of my relatives, i have one short (genetically related) aunt on my mom's side of the family, and two tall genetically related on my dad's side -- where i tripped up in my thinking was remembering whether one of my dad's three sisters was tall before she was confined to a wheelchair, and then a hospital bed, with ms. but i was under the age of five by the time she was no longer walking. then i got to thinking about her, saying hi to her spiritually while i feel that i can connect. she's there, saying she's watching me, and that she loves it. if my life were a tv show, she'd be a big fan. and she's not judging me. what i do remember of her was that she was about the gentlest person ever, always knew how to make everyone feel special in their own way.
if we choose the obstacles and lessons to learn in this incarnation, see did some amazing things with an insanely difficult lifetime. as i said, she was the sweetest, gentlest person, but not prude or judgmental. she liked a good joke, even a racy one. she would probably be considered the neighborhood sweetheart, i think. and unfortunately, she married the classic douchebag. the entity of drama surrounding my dad, his sister, and her husband from the very beginning to this day is enormous. [just had a thought that this is the novel i could write. if i could pull it off, it would be tremendously exposing of my family's private affairs, and things like that can cause problems. still an interesting plot, nonetheless.] in the end, i think my dad feels bad that he didn't protect his sister from the jerk.
that's a tremendous cause of emotional turbulence in my family's home. i think my dad just rolls it over in his mind, endlessly, always carrying the anger about it with him. these days. when i was a kid, i have no idea what his problem was.
back to my aunt in the role of hot chick (or really nice chick) and the guy she married, douchebag. [There's a website about these things]. they had three kids, and once the youngest was maybe 10, she started feeling the effects of ms. rested more and used a cane, i think. went to the wheelchair, and they moved to a new house that was better suitable for her needs. once she ended up in a nursing home, around the time i was a teenager, i suppose it became apparent that her husband, my uncle, was cheating on her. he'd go on exotic trips with groups of 'friends' or specific women friends, whatnot to that accord. maybe he was cheating on her before she ever was put in the nursing home. there were a few urgent medical needs towards the end, and my dad's told me of her husband's attempts to stall seeking help as he was simply wanting it to end. her life, this eternally slow stretch to death. in some ways i can see what he was getting at, as in 'put an end to her suffering' as she was living a very poor quality of life at the end. but how can you not help the one you love -- i don't think it's unreasonable to be torn.
but then again, when you're preaching 'end the suffering' and having semi-open marital affairs while your spouse is indeed on their deathbed, well that just doesn't look very good.
because it's not very good, it's very terrible. but i'm not him and i'm not living his situation, so there could be factors involved that i can't even image right now. i'm still pretty naive -- but the way this situation looks like from the outside is not good.
after my aunt passed away, there was a falling out between my grandma -- my dad's and his sister's mom -- and the daughter of my aunt (my grandma's granddaughter, and my cousin). That's caused some big rift between the husband and children of my aunt, and my aunt's own family (my dad and his mom). over the years my deceased aunt's now widower-husband had dated and ended up marrying again. although he didn't tell any of his deceased wife's family, my family, that he was doing so. he had always had a bad relationship with his mother-in-law, my grandma. he was clearly ready to cut ties with his wife's family following her passing. this has caused all kinds of grief with my dad, his mom, and two remaining sisters (although not to such a degree with the sisters).
and just for good measure, the widower-husband didn't just re-marry when his own three biological were grown and out of the house, he married a woman who had three teenage children -- they even all moved into the house my aunt and him raised their kids in.
this guy is now father to six people and he is a douchebag.
and that is how the cautionary tale of 'the hot chick and the douchebag' plays out, to show us all just how important it is to choose carefully when picking a lifemate. don't end up with the bad guy.
No comments:
Post a Comment