lion in a coma

that's what my ipod told me about my life, when i asked. tell me something i need to know about my life, the song is lion in a coma. i suppose it's applicable as my astrological sign is leo, the lion.

and i'm totally in a coma these days.

i was sitting out on the park bench, thinking about my physical recovery in the last four weeks, and my mental health during that same time. [just was sidetracked thinking about whether or not i will win a scholarship i applied for... but thought about how dumb awards systems can be, isn't trying to do your best kind of the point of everything? we're only trying to do the best for ourselves, so measuring each others' hard work for comparison is not only pointless, but kind of mean-spirited.]

in the last four weeks i've covered the emotional span from mildly euphoric to majority numbness. i'm trying to make plans, make ah plan, find the solution to whatever this problem in my head is... i'm in a hurry, but i have no answer, no destination, no directions. i feel as thought i'm waiting for something to fall out of the sky. i'm so completely bored and over this chapter of my life that i'm searching for the exit.

when i grow tired of looking, i take a nap. but this lion has been sleeping too much...