Jun 22, 2009

i got more drama than yo mama

this whole grad school, herniated disc, back surgery, wedding thing has been more drama than a soap opera. i'm in dire need of a turn of good luck.

i've been thinking about p lately, missing him. it was this time a year ago that i last spent time with him. i feel discouraged because i haven't met any guy that i've felt even remotely attracted to since him. my physical attraction would be described as blissful. simply, a happiness. a sense that i can't ever get close enough to him. i feel as though he is like rock, petros, and i am sponging onto him.

i am horrified and sometimes disgusted by the idea of becoming a parent, the ultimate turn-off. something about p made parenthood with him almost semi-plausible. there's that something in his eye...

then there's that thought that i could be building this all up in my imagination, and given the chance to reunite with p he might not be as awe-inspiring as i'm currently perceiving him. he had his lameness on display from time to time when we hung a year ago. 

is the characterization... more amusing?

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