even though...

...this is the only character i play, i play it pretty well. i came across shakespeare's quote 'all the world's a stage,' which got me thinking about who i'm playing now.

* * *

some people need so much to be satisfied -- careers, spouses and families, community, hobbies. that must be so complicated. right now blueberries are my universal satisfaction. i think a life too full of others would be too distracting in getting to know yourself. and that's one of the reasons we're here -- examining our personal circumstances. i think people who don't like looking at their own lives haven't got far in spiritual development.

some of us are just here to live our lives. sometimes we feel like we don't know what our calling is, in a professional sense; but we don't necessarily need to do our best intellectual work actually on a job. some of us have some complicated circumstances that take a different kind of effort. i'm not that worried if i excel in my newly chosen and certified profession, because i already have a hint that my greatest learning opportunities are going to be personal and social experiences. my job is to simply live.

maybe my job just became easier because i removed an existential burden.

acid cat lesbian

i just don't know about participating in the dating pool -- the more i think about it, the more it looks like a cess pool. the pH is much too high, burningly acidic.

maybe thats' my social defect -- that i feel a stronger connection to animals than i do to kids, babies, children, sometimes even adults. i'm the weirdo animal lover -- not in the way of treating pets like human children, but in the way of respecting an animal for what it is. i don't love my kitty for being a friend or a companion -- i love him because he's my pet cat. sometimes he purrs and cuddles, sometimes he ignores me, sometimes he does cute or amusing things. it's because he's a cat, not a furry version of something else.

i just had a birthday and it looks like i've hit the cat phase. it's when young singles have their shit together (aka: out of school/after traveling/have a job) and the dating/mating scene is not so hot... how about getting a kitten who requires lots of attention?

has my life turns into a cathy comic? [carrie bradshaw responds: 'never say "cathy comic" to me ever again.'] but no, cathy has a little dog, so maybe those (small dog-loving) women get this weird yearning is a worse way.

so what am i saying now, that i yearn for a cat? well that has pretty blatant lesbian undertones, but sadly i am not a lesbian. as conferred by my gay and straight friends alike, i'm no where cool enough to be a lesbian. one said i could be bi, but i think he was just being nice.

when stoned, my obsessions

are blueberries, oranges, and universal connectivity.

i met someone new today who's going to be a part of my life in a new way. maybe the ironic part is that while her initials are the same as the acronym of a sobriety organization, she described herself to me as addicted to pot.

then again, maybe what i need is a place where i can use weed to access my creativity and voice. i'll finally be able to live the way i'd like.

then why isn't my gut all aboard? just as her philosophy on problem solving, maybe sleeping on it will provide a solution.