we're all inside, learning how to operate these minds, bodies, and emotions

time doesn't necessarily happen the way we as a conscious humanity define it does. conscious humanity sees time as a line, one point adjacent to one point, adjacent to one point, to infinity. conscious humanity only views time as proceeding forward, and can only imagine time moving backwards, but not perpendicular. existence is an infinite number of parallel lines. one you jump from one line to another, without having to worry about landing perfectly perpendicular in order to not fall back and overlap in time. actually, the old tv show quantum leap wasn't that for off the mark. the exception is that most of us aren't being flung around mid-life cycle. but we are all a soul, an essence, and each incarnation is this new moniker, an identity, a code for a new program. we're all inside, learning how to operate these minds, bodies, and emotions. we all have our own personal sam, and some of us can communicate directly while most others just passively receive intuition and choose to deal with that in their own way.

i was out at the park, smoking and thinking of what i would say in a social situation in which i met c's friends. for some obvious reason, i was thinking it was out in a smoking section of a pub and his friends had weed so i walk over very confidently and say, 'gentlemen, hello. i'd like to introduce myself -- your new friend. is that weed you're smoking, new friend?' charming smile. i would be c's cool stoner friend from . they'd love me - they'd tell him he shouldn't let me slip away.

doubt any of that would happen.

i know where this song comes from. it has the pace and harmony of native american music. golden long grasses, soft rolling hills. it's in our nature. the spring clash of boisterous winds pressing on the charcoal dregs of winter; rumblings. those moments before the gathering of clouds for a tornado. when the winds stop traveling and started circling - i know that feeling. those quiet prairie turns of air. that tension, the gathering of tribes, circling before clash. the golden grains and charcoal clouds, that's the origin of those beats, the drama of the harmonies.

now i'm seeing something i had seen in a past life regression/meditation. i saw my perspective of a woman, an adult. i'm dressed up as though i'm on the frontier, a contemporary of laura ingles wilder. i'm on the frontier, but dressed like a civilized urbanite. i hear my name as elizabeth, or something very common of the time - possibly virginia, or something close. i'm in a sort of dug-out house, on the side of a mild hill. like the little house on the prairie series, yes, i suppose it was called a dugout house. yes, google confirms this - i'm seeing myself in this other lifetime: i'm a grown woman of respectable status out on the prairie in a dugout house, like the one in little house on the prairie. my name or an important relevant name is elizabeth, and a man around my age named michael is also in the dugout house. the walls are all brown, it hasn't been whitewashed like in the l.i.w. book. michael has brown hair and is sat down on the stool, forearms on his lap, looking downwards, and i cannot see his face. it reminds me of michaelangelo from school of athens. [i wonder if michaelangelo wasn't necessarily gay as it is believed, but maybe just asexual because he so obviously has a clear passion he was able to execute in his time.]

this woman i am, on the prairie, i'm not extremely thrilled to be there, it feel like nebraska or kansas, late summer. windy. i'm looking at a pocket watch i have, i'm waiting for someone. i'm waiting for sarah. she's a sister or sister-like bond in that lifetime. i walk out of the dugout and around up the hill above the home. a few dozen yards away there's a wagon train passing, there is a pretty regular stream of traffic, relatively. it's like i'm keeping my eyes on the road for my approaching person named sarah. that's all i could gather from that past life regression/meditation. elizabeth, michael and sarah.

i've been read as having michael the archangel around me - instructed to direct myself towards him when i seek guidance. i've been read as having a female spirit guide, sort of a grandma owl spirit, who's my main teacher. but i don't know her name.